Going Away to College Means Going Away

My freshman year I had a friend down the hall, let's call her Gracie, who absolutely could not let go of home. Every moment that she wasn't in class she was home or running home to Skype with her best friends from high school. When she was walking around campus she was on the phone with her parents or her little sister. At meals all she could talk about was who from her hometown was doing what these days. Every opportunity she got she bought a Greyhound ticket back home for the weekend.

As a result, her school life suffered. She was a friendly girl and didn't have trouble making friends with people in our hall, but she hardly knew anyone else. She often complained that she felt like she didn't know what was going on on campus. There was even one time that she missed an early class registration because she'd been too busy chatting with her high school friends to check the email telling her that when it was set to happen.

The routine Gracie fell into is an easy one and certainly not uncommon. Going away to college means a new life in a new place with new people and new schedules and habits and responsibilities and expectations. This can be super intimidating. Despite this, it's really important not to revert back to old comfort zones. Obviously there's nothing wrong with staying in touch with your high school friends or having a chat with your Mom on the phone, but making that your entire life at school takes away from your actual life at school. It sounds cliche and silly, but it's true that a huge part of why you go away to college is to go away to college. Finding out who you are and developing your independence are huge parts of what school is all about. This can be really difficult when you're still stuck in the world of who asked who to prom.

How do you strike a balance? As far as I'm concerned, it's different for everyone but a good way to measure is to go with how you feel. Do you feel like you're always running home for the weekend? Do you feel like you don't know anyone on your campus? When the answer to questions like these is yes, cool it with the Skype dates and the phone calls. Reach out to people around you. Go to a party or a free lecture on campus. Join an intramural sport. Walk down your hall and chat with someone who's left his door open. Remember that going away means going away, not being away and trying desperately to be at home. The more you're open to the differences of your life at college, the easier it is to enjoy them.