Temptress_lee's Dating Guide

Sometimes we as people. Have a hard time finding that right person. Rather it be male or female, Gay, or straight. We are unsure of ourselves. We don't know what it is were looking for in another person. Wondering if it will last, or if it's even worth starting. I spent a great deal of time. Worrying about my lovelife. Had I known how much more I forgot in my life, because I was so busy keeping a boyfriend. I probably wouldn't have gotten myself into some of the messes I found myself in. My very first boyfriend. Is almost a blur; hell I can't even remeber his name. So why did I bother going out on a date with him? I kept asking myself over and over. "Am I asking for trouble? Or am I just misguided?" My advice to those young readers out there, with no knowledge of the world of dating. "Don't rush it!" Although it may seem like everyone your age is in a relationship. That doesn't mean you have to be TOO. Everyone develops at different stages in life. Somewhere along the line. You will come across what they call a "crossroad." It's when you reach rockbottom. And everything in your life feels like it can only get worse. A good friend of mine once told me, "After that you can only go straight up agian." She was right. I forgot about something really important. When I was trying to make all those guys in my life happy, "My future!" Yes girls and boys I said it. Those things your parents keep preaching about are true. Education, a career, and finding your own way in the world. Are more important then dating. So i've inclosed with you. A list of important things to know about yourself. Before you get ready to get married, have a family, or fall in love. Or hell even go out on a date. 1.) Emotional strengthThis key element. Is highly important. If your miserable on your own. You'll be miserable with another person. Rather your partner is a girl or a guy. It's pretty easy to tell if your grieving, in some way. So before you hop back in the sack. Make sure you can answer one question, "Am I content with myself?" Not necessarily happy all the time. But knowing enough about yourself. To know that you could be happy sharing your life with someone else. If your answer is, "No!" "Not sure!" or "Maybe!" Then it's time to rethink that person you keep wanting to ask out. And figure out whats making you so miserable. Negativity is no way to start any relationship. Just watch how fast you "DON"T" get that phonecall back. 2.) Your healthDo you take care of yourself? Eat right? Exercise? Have basic hygeine? If you don't take care of yourself. It could bring a burden later in life to your partner. And eventually you'll become dependant on that person for everything. I'm not saying sick people don't deserve love too. You can't help who you love. But if you have control over your health. Then see a doctor for regular checkups. And keep yourself in shape before you get old. Otherwise you'll find yourself regreting it later on in life. It's no fun to be with someone who has no energy and just lays in bed all day. 3. Your heartIf it is broken. Spend time with friends and family. Don't get caught up in love agian. Until you know your ready. The biggest mistake I made. Was looking for a boyfriend, the moment one of my EXboyfriends broke my heart. Needless to say I ended up raped, nearly killed, and in jail for a week. How that happened? I'll never tell.. I prefer to leave it to your own imagionation. 4.) FinanciallyDo you have a stable residence? A car? Transportation? Although money is not the issue here. Survival is VERY important in this day and age. It's a jungle out there and you've got to be prepared. Depending on someone else to take care of you forever. Can actually cause the love to grow apart. No matter if your male or female. Take care of yourself. Once thats set, love will follow. 5.) MentallyIf you've got mental problems. Seek out help before you date agian. This is dangerous. And not fair to the other person. No matter what kind of help it is professionally, from a friend, or a church. Take care of your emotions. Ecpecially if your like me and have the tendency to break down at your job. This can later hurt your partner. And make them worry about you. So much to a point were they forget about themself. I know these seem unrealistic. But people don't want to here what could be the truth. It may just be my opinion. But it is my opinion from years or dating, a dispear that I finally found the love of my life. He's not perfect. We get on eachothers nerve sometimes. But if I had it to do over agian. I would go back and make MYSELF right before I met him. Then maybe Mr right would have respected me alot more, had he known I took care of myself. It is very hard to be with someone that does not respect themself. 6.) SexuallyThis is the most DIFFICULT part of any relationship. Alot of people have questions. How often is to much? Is it abnormal to have little or no sex? Let me just say that we are all different. If you can't communicate comfortably about love, and your emotions before you have sex. Then it's going to be real difficult for you to have a healthy sex life. Stop asking dumb questions and see if you can answer it with your partner. If the girl is not ready yet. And all you want is sex. Get out immediatly before you hurt the girl. Put yourself in her shoes for a moment and ask yourself, "Would I want someone pushing me to do something, i'm not ready to do?" If your answer is yes, get some help. If it's no, then do the right thing and be honest. The worst mistake people make is pressure to have sex. Sex does not mean your in love. In order for it to become love. You have to know that person, inside, and out. Sometimes it takes years for a couple to get comfortable with eachother. But no matter how long it takes. Make sure your in love. I don't give a **** about these, "Friends with benefits!" topics. It rarely works out. Toying with someones emotions. So you can get off. Will only back fire on YOU. If thats what you want it's your decision. But don't say nobody warned you.l I'd like to conclude one thing in my closing statement. Never change yourself. Be who you are, and know what you'll tolerate. If your not sure how to ask that boy/girl out you've been crushing on. Don't stress it. People will respect you alot more if you just take a chance, and live your life. If you feel like you might be ready for love. Then heed my advice, "Don't give up because someone rejects you!" It's sortof like finding a job. Not every interview ends in a job. It only means they are looking for the right person that suits the job. If your not what there looking for then move on! Cry for a few weeks. And keep searching.