Loving Something You Can't Have

When you walk through your high school halls, all you ever see is couples, right? You look at those happy coules with envy, wanting what they have. I do this everyday, so I know what you're going through. The worse way to miss somebody is to be siting right beside them knowing you can't have them. I bet you want to be swept off your feet and ride away on this great white horse like in fairy tales. I do too. I want that to happen all the time.

All my life i've been made to believe I was nothing. In school they would make fun of me for being overweight and having glasses. It doesn't bother me any more when they say that. What bothers me is to fall for a guy that won't go out with me for those reasons, although he denies it. I want to be one of those couples so bad and it hurts so much knowing that I'll probably go all through high school not having what they have. I was never up for the prom king and drama queens. I dislike them with a passion. I can't stand mean preps and jocks. Especially the ones I know at my school.

I fell head over heels for this one guy in my school. I mean I really have feelings for him. I asked him out and everything and his response was that he didn't want a girlfriend right now. My friend Amber saw him walking around with a girl so I know thats not true. He knows I want him too. He's nice and sweet to me, he's not like other guys I've asked out. It still hurts every day I see him. I want to be able to hold his hand and kiss his lips. I want him to love me the way I love him.

People tell me there will be other fish in the sea. I don't know if I can believe that when the perfect match for me is sitting in the same seat with me on the bus ride to CATCE. I won't know until I do though, so I have to wait and find out. If you are in the same situation, take some helpful advice. Try to think about anything else besdies this person. If you can't imagine how it would be if you did go out. The positives and negatives. I'm sure you'll figure it out.

If you feel the same way I do, you feel that everyday you HAVE to see this person. You can't go a day without hearing their voice or seeing their face shine like an angel. You can't stand not hearing their laugh or hearing them being a complete blonde. You can't stand not seeing them read their books while laying down on the floor. You can't stand not seeing thier eyes shine like a kid's would while looking at candy. You want to see how they dressed that day although they dress in the same wardrobe basically and wear the same "ghetto" shoes. You want to laugh at what they say even though you were pretending you weren't listening. You want to be able to hold them so close that lovebirds would be jealous of your love. You want to be able to walk through an aisle and not have his friends laugh at you like your some sort of trash from hell. You want so bad to be his and only his that you can't sleep at night and he's all you dream about.

You know you are in love with this person when all you can think about is how your name would sound good with his. You constantly write his name over and over in your notebook, looking as if your stalking the poor boy. You write him letters that you know you'll never give but do it to make yourself feel good. You sit beside him and feel like your in heaven even though he only disses your friend, who he thinks is the stalker. Whenever he borrows your writing utensil you never let any one else touch it.

When you love someone you know by instinct that it is love. You would be able to tell if its love, lust, or puppy love. It is a feeling that you get on your heart and soul. Whenever I want to see Zach really bad or I'm thinking of him, I get this feeling that I can't explain. It feels like I'm in esctacy. I feel like we're soul mates somehow. I'll think of him and look up and he'll be right there. Like he knew I wanted to see him. I know somehow we're destined to be, but I know we'll never happen. He's a jock who has high expectations. I'm an individual with my head in the clouds. We're not opposites, but we're not attracting.

Maybe one day you'll see what I'm talking about. That day I know you'll have a smile form ear to ear on your face.