Dealing with your roommate

Before I arrived at my University for my freshman year, one of my biggest concerns for the coming year was not just tuition fees, difficult courses, or good marks; but the very person I would spend the next eight months locked in a 10' x 20' cement box with.

Would she be stupid? Would she be a grade grind who spent all her time at her desk? Would she be some creepy stalkertype who I would be scared to sleep in the same room with? Would we be friends? These were all questions running through my mind. Yet once you actually live confined with a person those questions become unimportant. You now know what are the important things are: her musical preferences, the times of day she listens to it, the times of day she chooses to study, the time she gets up in the morning, and most importantly, will you fight about every little thing because she is a stubborn witch?

When dealing with all of the above, which have all been issues for us, there are a few things I have learned. The very best thing to do when your roommate makes you angry is to leave. Having someone to get away from them makes it much easier to get along with them when you are there. Spend a lot of time apart. Being in a small space with another person is not just difficult it is nearly impossible. So fight that claustrophobia and go out for coffee, head to the library, or visit a friend's room. Face it: no matter how good friends you and your roommate are, you will inevitably get sick of them. The last thing you want is to get in a huge argument and say things you will regret later. It is best to keep your thoughts on their annoying habits to yourself.

This is not to say that you should not confront them when there is a problem, however. Only a real problem is really worth a fight. Her terrible singing voice, smelly perfume, or penchant for too many shoes do not count as real problems. I know this from experience. Real problems are when she refuses to vacuum, plays music past 11 P.M., or cannot handle her alcohol.

When you do choose to confront a roommate about a problem, it must be done carefully. Telling her that she is stupid simply does not work. Explaining your concerns in a non threatening way should. If the problem is not fixed, it may be time to have your Resident Advisor (every floor has one) get involved. This person can work as a mediator if you are particularly scared of a violent outburst or the like.

The bottom line is: be friends. Being friends is the only way to ensure peace at least 50 per cent of the time. That way, you can always count on her being there for you when you're puking at 2 A.M., breaking up with your longterm, longdistance boyfriend, or encouraging you to study for that exam tomorrow. Be sure to also be there for her too.

Julia Morton and her roommate have become friends.